Welcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors challenge. My hope is that over the next six months you’ll see either a nice & tidy 8-10 sentence flash fiction story or an excerpt from a piece I’m working on (like the one below). Check out other writers at the link above and the Weekend Writing Warriors twitter #8sunday. I posted some of this a bit ago and a bit more last week. It’s got a title, “Castille’s Stone.”
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I cover my smile as I watch Porsche brush aside her pink bangs then run a hand over the back of her shaved head. She give Elise a quick smile then click-clacks on her beautiful patent leather heels to the backroom where I stand in the doorway.
“Girl,” she says, drawing the word out before clicking her tongue in disgust.
I laugh, shake my head and move towards the front of the store. It’s 8pm and I need to grab a drink.
“Yes, I know.”
“I smell belladonna,” Porsche says, following me to the front and flipping the closed sign on the door.
“Do you?”
“Don’t play, your momma would be pissed and I ain’t taking the blame for it. I told her I’d keep you clean from now on.”
dc edwards 
Love how vividly drawn Porsche is. Her personality comes through loud and clear!
I could sure visualize these characters, complete with a lot of sassy attitude – great snippet!
Great snippet! Tells us a lot in a few sentences. 🙂
Nice little snippet! You utilized the power of dialogue well. You were able to give us a sense of the characters without having to narrate. You let the characters speak for themselves.
Wow. Lots of details that characterize not only these two women, but also their milieu.
Your descriptive writing in excellent. By the end of the snippet, I’d already assigned a voice to miss pink bangs. 🙂 I think she might be chewing gum–and cracking it, too. 🙂